When you're just getting to know your group, it's basically like you guys start dating.
Things are a little bit awkward, no one really knows what to expect and sometimes expectations get miscommunicated. A lot of the time it's like an arranged marriage that you have to learn to deal with. But don't worry, we've got your back!!
I proudly present,
(GROUP) DATING 101:
5 key's to a successful system
1: Take them somewhere nice
So if you're going on a date and you want it to work out, where would you rather take them?
Choice A:
Or Choice B:
Hopefully you answered B. If you didn't, then you are a terrible date. Really. Awful. You're going to die alone (kidding).
When you want to impress a date, you'll take them to a nice place, and for a second date you'll go somewhere else to keep it interesting.
The same rule applies within groups. Your ENVIRONMENT affects the experience you will have and how successful it will be.
If you want to work well with a group, meeting in different places can help people feel more comfortable. Instead of 'taking them out' to the library every time you meet, try going out for dinner together or meeting at somewhere more casual, like a group members house. It's more personal and helps people to feel more comfortable around each other.
2: Don't talk about yourself the whole time
If you're going on a date with someone, you don't want to hear them droning on about themselves the whole time. If they ignore your opinions and only focus on themselves, you aren't likely to want to go on a second date.
You'd be left thinking:
Being in a relationship with this type of person leads to arguments, fights, and most likely misery.
So think about it: If you do the same thing in groups, they aren't likely to enjoy working with you, and it will cause conflict.
This is why BALANCE is so important in groups.
Balance not only keeps you from boring everyone in the group, but it keeps everyone in sync and with the same idea. It involves dealing with conflict straight up, and not letting it overwhelm the group.
If your group is balancing opinions and dealing with conflict, instead of this,
You'll be doing this:
3: Trust them and expect the best
There's a psychological phenomenon phenomenon called "Self fulfilling prophecy," It basically means that what you believe about a situation affects what actually happens. So if you go into a blind date assuming that it'll be awkward and awful, it probably will. But if you go to that same date believing beforehand that it will be a blast, it's more likely to be enjoyable.
Robert Merton explains it pretty well
This phenomenon occurs in groups too. If you're think that your group members are going to be annoying, they are more likely to act like that. And if you think that your group is going to be lazy before you even meet them, chances are higher that they will be slackers.
Why does this happen?
Because if you believe they will be annoying, you'll unconsciously treat them like they are. And if you believe they're lazy, you'll automatically begin to do their work.
The best way to do group work is to INTERRELATE with each other.
This means believing the best of each other, and trusting that everyone gets their work done. It can be hard to trust other people with your grade, but it shows maturity and growth. And usually people step up the challenge and produce great work.
4: Work together
Have you ever been in a relationship where where you cared more about the other person than they cared about you? They didn't put in any effort to spend time with you, show you that they were interested or generally be a good partner. It's annoying as heck; no one likes to be treated like they're worthless.
Now, have you ever been in a group where the same thing happened? Members didn't show up for group meetings, they didn't do any work and generally were a bad group member? You probably ended up just dividing up the work leading to a final product that was disjointed and sloppy.
Each situation leads to anger, resentment, and basically just being pissed off at your group members.
So how do you solve it? INTERACT with each other. Because here's the thing:
Groups are always at their best when they're interacting and using everyone's strengths to their advantages. Groups that interact work together to create a product that is cohesive.
5: Communicate what you want for the future
So say you're on a date, and things are going well. You've hit it off, and talking is happening easily. Both of you seem to be having a good time. Everything is going so well that you're considering popping the question and asking them to go steady. Until, that is, they casually mention that they aren't looking for a relationship.
Your dreams are dashed and the chemistry you have doesn't matter, because there is no future together.
This happens in groups all the times.
If a group doesn't have a SHARED VISION, then they are left without a purpose.
Groups that succeed know what they want and every person in the group feels the same way. This clear sense of vision helps the group to come up with manageable steps to accomplish their goals.
By telling the other group members what you want to be the final product, everyone can work together with clarity.
The image on the left shows what groups look like when they dream separately, and the right shows what groups can envision when they dream together.
You get to choose, which one looks best to you?
.jpg)
.gif)
