It’s clear that most of us have a desire to win in conflict, however, many of us don’t truly know what that win is or how to arrive at it. The C.R.I.B model helps us get a grasp of a step-by-step process.
1. Commit to finding the win
2. Recognize why it's important
3. Invent a new win
4. Brainstorm solutions
Just like an interpersonal conflict, this process requires participation from both parties. Both have to explore each other’s perspectives and see what each wants out of the conflict. They also have to try to understand of why the issue is important to the other person. At this point it is understood what the critical areas of conflict are and what makes the issues important. In the next stage, we can both find something we can agree on that helps each side. Last but certainly not least, we can brainstorm solutions that can be beneficial to both.
CONFUSED? Read this!
Example:
When Miley and Liam broke up, they both wanted to keep the house in LA, and couldn’t agree who got it. Billy Ray gave Miley some advice on the issue. First, he said, both of them had to agree to trying to find a solution that would be beneficial for everyone. After committing to that, they could move on. The next step was to understand why the house was so important to them. Miley realized that she was attached to it because it was the first place she lived after moving to LA. Liam only wanted it because it had a personal pool. Both of them recognized each others reason for wanting the house. They decided that a new win would be for Miley to keep her sentimental value, and for Liam to keep his pool. After brainstorming, Billy Ray suggested that Miley keep the house, and pay for a new pool to be put into Liam’s new back yard. This way, everyone got what was most important to them, and was satisfied by the solution.
STILL CONFUSED? Watch these!
Crib method: Part one
Crib method: Part two
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